the sex talk – introduction

We (still) need to talk about sex


Originally, I only wanted a fun opening for book 2 and eventually settled on: ‘We need to talk about sex.’

I couldn’t make the opening work. But by then, I had a lot more on sex in the story than expected, and so book 2 got its subtitle. In fact, the sex talk, as the team in the story calls it, has its own journey within the journey by now.

I would say that the most varied discussion takes place on Copacabana Beach, the most heartbreaking incidents are in Argentina and South Africa, the most intriguing speculation is probably about the penis trauma, and the greatest fun is most likely the ball in Russia.

I usually treat the subject with curiosity and bluntness, or to quote Alice:

‘No, Leo. This whole fuss about our sexuality is one of the major things that screws with us. We have to dig in bluntly to unearth everything we humans have made weird.’

book 2/1, travelling, San Francisco

And it probably helps that I am not solely interested in the subject, or to quote Alice:

‘You know,’ Alice said, suddenly sombre. ‘I wish we could just face all the sex issues and then move on. So many things are more important than our sexuality. But our sexuality fucking fucks with us.’

book 2/2, travelling, Russia

On the other hand:

‘I’ve been thinking about sex on and off for some years. And I can’t help feeling that somewhere in all of this mess, beauty and horror, is an important key. Sex makes up so much of our lives and cultures.’

book 2/1, travelling, Happy Flying, US

Saying all this, book 2 is not about sex. Sex is just one of the subjects which keeps coming up.

For the impatient reader, I compiled a collection of sex-related extracts from book 1 and 2. I also put together a compilation of extracts relating to the speculations about a penis trauma.

extracts collection sex talk, volume 1

We need to talk about sex, limping

‘I walked myself right into your sex talk, didn’t I?’ Tom groaned, nearly bumping into another urn.

book 2/1, travelling, San Francisco, US


Happy Flying, US

  1. We need to talk about sex

California, US

  1. Urns
  2. Property
  3. Couple therapy
  4. Sex jokes
  5. Perspectives
  6. LGBTQ+
  7. Is homosexuality an intrusion?

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

  1. Copacabana Beach
    1. What’s wrong with a girls night?
    2. Hoping to be liked
    3. So, what’s wrong with a girls night?
    4. Traumatic run-ins with women
    1. Women prison and inferiority complexes
    2. A world run by women
    3. I never wanted to be a woman
    4. Trouble with the body
    5. Limping
    6. Boys night and penis length
    7. Prejudice
    8. Evasive gender
  1. This is Rio, best place for gays

Buenos Aires, Argentina

  1. You have to fuck
  2. Your dick is not a weapon
  3. Abortion and the Catholic Church
  4. Trustworthy men
  5. Sex and populism
  6. Sex talk, a journey
  7. Exploring why we do stupid things
  8. Why does fear smell?

South Africa

  1. Friends
  2. Colours of the skin, HIV and a priest
  3. De-scandalising sex

Sydney, Australia

  1. Urns rebooted
  2. Sexiness as a weapon among women?

Time off, Australia

  1. What to do about beauty?

extracts from book 1, beginning

  1. The vilification of the body
  2. Porn
  3. Happy parents
  4. Why don’t you have children?
  5. Pregnancy nightmare
  6. Gendered outfits
  7. Singledom
  8. Losing it
  9. Sexual orientation
  10. One night stands, affairs, relationships and marriage
  11. Who rescues who?
  12. Jerks of my mother’s making
  13. Role models
  14. Abortion

We need to talk about sex


and other speculations about us and our sexuality

Extracts from book 1, beginning and book 2/1, travelling including speculations about why homosexuality might be perceived as an intrusion (Fligth to Brazil), the most diverse sex conversation in book 2 (Rio), Nku killed her (Cape Town), and what to do about beauty (East Coast, Australia)

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‘Hm. And to answer your actual question, yes, homosexuality and all the rest will be included. And I have a little theory about why homosexuality—’ Alice hesitated. ‘Sorry for being blunt again, but I can’t think of a better word. The theory is about why homosexuality might be perceived as an intrusion.’
‘Go on,’ Leo said, both curious and apprehensive.
‘The theory came up, because I’m still squeamish around lesbians. And I don’t like it.’
Leo tensed again. ‘You don’t like what?’
‘That I’m squeamish, of course. But I have a theory.’

book 2/1, travelling, San Francisco

extracts collection sex talk, special

The penis trauma

About an hour later, Alice felt a rush of excitement.
Could this be an explanation? Of sorts?
She had to talk to someone. But who? Who would be open enough to even think about this?
Alice stared at the screen in front of her, then back at the notepad she had been scribbling on.
Leo. Of course. Leo.

book 2/2, Flight to Beijing, The penis trauma


extracts from book 2/2, travelling

  1. Some notes on domestic violence, Flight to Beijing
  2. The penis trauma, Flight to Beijing
  3. Bulges and urges, Russia
  4. What are women for? Otaon
  5. Making each other, Otaon
  6. Is this how rape happens? Romania

extracts from book 2/1, travelling

  1. You have to fuck, Buenos Aires, Argentina
  2. Your dick is not a weapon, Buenos Aires, Argentina
  3. Nku killed her, Cape Town, South Africa

We still need to talk about sex

The penis trauma

and other speculations about us and our sexuality

Extracts from both parts of book 2, travelling, with a focus on the why of sexual violence

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‘Well, eventually I asked myself a few questions about the male body and in particular about the penis.’
‘What?’ Leo exclaimed, suddenly sounding a lot more awake. ‘How would you even do that? You don’t have a male body, and in particular not a penis.’
‘Yes, I noticed. That’s why I need to talk to someone who has.’

book 2/2, Flight to Beijing, The penis trauma

extracts collection sex talk, volume 2

We need to talk about sex, sexuality mess

‘Jack cocked his head and countered playfully: ‘I agree. Sex is a private matter. But since this private matter has led to abuse and chronic unhappiness, we need to talk about it. Once sex is a happy undertaking again, devoid of abuse and dissatisfaction, it can all go back to being private.’

book 2/2, travelling, Otaon


Flight to Beijing, China

  1. Some notes on domestic violence
  2. The penis trauma


  1. Sex talk in practical terms
  2. Fixated on pointing out the differences between the sexes?
  3. The body is the key. The key to what?


  1. Palace Garden
    1. Sex is a private matter
    2. Only to have more sex?
    3. What are women for?
    4. Making each other
    5. Beautiful women
    6. Headscarves
    7. Dressing sexy
  2. They should have protected you
  3. Get married!
  4. What is worse: breasts or bleeding?


  1. Is this how rape happens?
  2. Relationships
  3. The perfect balance between female and male

Flight to Moscow

  1. Small men and the boyfriend


  1. The Ball in Russia
    1. The prince and the queen
    2. The sea of boobs
    3. Ares
    4. The body must be a key
    5. Bulges and urges
    6. Tits and brains
    7. More awkward stuff
    8. Prostitution
  1. Partners don’t just happen


  1. Lesbians
  2. All cards on the table
  3. Breasts


  1. A narrative

We still need to talk about sex

Sexuality mess

and other speculations about us and our sexuality

Extracts from book 2/2, travelling including The penis trauma, Bulges and urges and others.

Read all about the penis trauma Alice discovers on the flight to Beijing. Find out what the sex talk means in practical terms for the town experiment. Go on a stroll with Andy and Devery when they talk about Making each other. Read some thoughts about marriage and parenthood. Have fun at a garden party with princes and at a ball in Russia. And find more intriguing dialogues, thoughts, questions and speculations about us and our sexuality.

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‘I’m not that happy with anyone making out in public,’ Devery remarked.
‘What?’ Hachiro exclaimed, spilling water on the table. ‘You are French. The French invented making out. How come, I ended up at a table full of prudish dudas, dudes and dudus?’
Everyone chuckled and Adeola said: ‘Because you are such a tolerant guy? And you still have hope for us?’
‘Yeah. You’re right. It’s too early to give up on you lot. But seriously. It’s not a big deal. Kissing is great. No matter who kisses who or who kisses you.’
‘I’ll toast to that, despite some reservations,’ Devery said, raising his glass.
‘There’s hope for you.’ Hachiro laughed. ‘A toast to the magic of kissing.’
Chuckles and clinking glasses.

book 2/2, travelling, Berlin

Why buy an extracts collection?


Two reasons: one, you are only interested in a specific subject. Two, you read the books, and now you want to focus on a specific subject.

On top of that, it’s interesting to see that the extracts collections develop a dynamic of their own. That’s in particular true for The penis trauma and The beauty of modern slavery.

Extracts usually contain conversations and statements. A subject is never fully explored, but you will find interesting questions, thoughts or speculations.

Extracts mostly don’t contain significant spoilers and focus on discussions or statements which require little or no story background.

Whenever more story background is required, some additional quotes and notes are included.

The sex talk extracts collections


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The penis trauma

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Sexuality mess

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We need to talk about sex, extended extract >>>

the sex talk, content overview >>>