How I came to photography


Charlie Alice Raya

photography


beach sand, Baltic Sea, detail, rippled by wind, photo by Charlie Alice Raya

How I came to photography

and what happened then

I came to photography gradually, slowly and with big gaps in between. To start with, one could say, I came to paintings first.

Paintings

Paintings and painting played a big part in my childhood. I grew up with the smell of turpentine, with rooms full of canvases and with an early knowledge about different kinds of papers, colours and brushes.

fabric of reality, tree bark, colours, abstract, Fine Art Print by Charlie Alice Raya
Elli auf dem Pferd, oil painting by Annemirl Bauer

Elli auf dem Pferd
by Annemirl Bauer
oil painting on canvas
190 x 175 cm
1981

städtisches Museum Junge Kunst
Frankfurt (Oder)

© Amrei Bauer-Pezellen
www.annemirlbauer.de

Being painted

It might sound like fun, but it wasn’t for me.

Imagine you are a small kid, on a long walk and suddenly someone says: ‘Oh, stop. Stay like that. Don’t move.’ And then said person walks ahead to get a good perspective and eventually starts to sketch, and if you move so much as a muscle you get a telling.
It wasn’t always that bad, but I never liked being painted. Though today I understand that sometimes you suddenly see an image which has to be captured. I just try not to involve children. And these days, I go on my photo tours alone, because I know how frustrating and boring it can be when a painter or a photographer see something and immediately forget everything around them.

But there is one painting, by the artist Annemirl Bauer, which I love: Elli on the horse.

I don’t remember ever sitting for Annemirl, but I have a vague memory of being led into the forbidden zone of Annemirl’s main painting room. I was maybe five or six years old, and there was this big canvas which showed a little person on a large horse, and I was told that I was that person. I remember feeling kind of puzzled while sensing that it might be something special to be on a painting.

Elli auf dem Pferd (Elli on the horse)

What fascinates me most about Annemirl’s painting is that it is still relevant today. No other artist has captured something of who I am.
There is this little person with the boyish face, the indication of some femininity by letting the child sit with both legs to one side. The large curious eyes, the excited red cheeks, the red and blue clothes, again indicating a gender duality. The untroubled yet focused expression, no sign of fear, or of discomfort about sitting on a huge horse. The horse itself strong and proud, ready to keep going. And in the background worlds, imagined and real worlds, all to be discovered.

I regret that I was too young to ask Annemirl about this painting. I don’t know whether she had anything of what I see in the painting in mind, but she was the one adult in my childhood I could fully relate to.

Weekly visits to the museum

As far as I remember, we went to the Museum Island Berlin nearly every Sunday. I loved the Alte Museum and of course the Pergamon museum with all its archaeological reconstructions from around the world. No wonder I wanted to become an archaeologist at some point. But even then, I didn’t understand what the Ishtar Gate was doing in Berlin of all places.

The visits to the museums taught me to experience art in the sense of learning to see, taking steps back to change the perspective, allowing the paintings to touch and inspire me.

And these visits made me wonder about the past and the present, about the changes humankind and art have undergone over the millennia.

photo series, greyscale, 2010-16, by Charlie Alice Raya, sheep, a white sheep framed by two black sheep

This is one of my photographs, but I always thought it has a touch of the old masters.

My first camera

My granddad gave me my first camera when I was eight or nine years old, and I remember that I proudly and industriously took it on a holiday to Prague. I still have some of the photographs, and they are astonishingly good for a beginner, and a child at that. I remember that I wanted to catch the Karlsburg in the moment when the wind would fully unfurl the flag. But I didn’t get that picture.

The big gap

Using the camera was always a question of money, and since we had little during my teenage years in the eighties, I rarely took out the camera.
But the few times I did, I realised that the camera is something I can use to experiment with: a blurred or an overexposed image could have a magic of its own.

Rediscovering the camera

At the end of the nineties, a student friend lent me his reflex camera, and gave me a chance to rediscover the camera and photography. But while I enjoyed my explorations and my exploits, other issues took up the majority of my time.

TV & Film

From 2005 to 2007, I worked on two TV series as a script continuity, did a documentary about a mural in 2006, and in 2007 I also worked on a movie as a second assistant director.

My video camera was probably my first brush with digital photography, and while I focused on documenting the artist’s work on the mural, I also started to explore the possibilities of digital photography and soon added a small digital camera, perfect for snapping experiments. The first images for the photo series street life were made with the video camera.

In 2008 I decided to take a less crowded road to focus on my own ideas. The fact that a good photograph didn’t depend on a big team, that I could be creator, director and editor in one, was one of the major reasons that brought me back to photography. I wanted to work with images but I also wanted to be my own master. You will find in the book series that making movies is still on my mind. And a tiny part of me wonders whether I might one day return to the set after all.

photo series, street life, berlin, by Charlie Alice Raya
walking the line, 2008/21, photo series: street life

self portrait, 2008

One of my more serious exploits from that year.

Rediscovering the camera again

I was pretty exhausted from the previous years, so 2008 was in many ways a year where I rested, readjusted and tested myself. I worked on a new story, I went to a drawing course, attended a photo workshop, extended my video editing skills, went to a speech training, and I even remember baking a cake.
I also remember, kind of slowly waking up after years of working for others and often overtime.
A borrowed digital camera played a big part in that waking up process. I would start my day with taking a photo of myself and of the weather. The latter was for the story I was working on. And I would take the camera everywhere.
By taking the time again to see my surroundings and to be on the lookout for an image, I returned to some kind of present, to some kind of being in the moment again, even becoming myself again.
Interestingly, I also discovered that if you take the camera with you, you see more and less at the same time.
More because the camera freezes moments the eye can’t see, and also more because the detail of a face or of a tree bark adds something new, gives the image a different weight.
And you see less, because you are so intent on finding an interesting image that you often fail to take a step back and let the whole scene unfold before your eyes. Unless of course, you make it a habit to include moments of just looking.

The big camera

In March 2010 came the big camera and with it the possibility of using a whole range of lenses I hadn’t even dreamt of.
In the following two years, I shot over 60.000 pictures, many along the coast of the Baltic Sea, as well as in Venice, Barcelona, Berlin and Munich. And I worked on various series.

In 2012 several events turned my life upside down, and I rarely took up the camera.

lunch, 2010

On the first day with my new camera, I saw this heron catch a goldfish. I couldn’t believe my luck, but I was too excited to make the most of the situation.

photos misc, 2010-21, by Charlie Alice Raya
photos misc, 2010-21, by Charlie Alice Raya
photos misc, 2010-21, by Charlie Alice Raya
photos misc, 2010-21, by Charlie Alice Raya
photo series, greyscale, 2010-16, by Charlie Alice Raya
photos misc, 2010-21, by Charlie Alice Raya

Work as a photographer

The events of 2012 left me shaken, but they also opened some doors, like the idea for Easy Town or the opportunity to gain experience as a commercial photographer.
My first paid photo shoot was for a trader at a big fair. I was so excited, I hardly slept the night before. But it went well, and I was a lot more confident when I did my next shoot. This time the shoot was all about garlic, and I spend days experimenting with light, settings and props. After a short stint in Thailand, I had my first really big contract: photos for a hospital. For days I worked with the staff, set the scenes, attended operations, a church service and classes for future nurses to capture what made this hospital and the people who work there special. It was great. During the editing process I cursed a lot about all the mistakes I had made. But if I know one thing about mistakes, then it’s that I learnt more from my mistakes than from any textbook.
I would like to say that everything was plain sailing after that, but it wasn’t. Not least, because I was too interested in the Easy Town ideas to focus on photography alone. Also I started to design websites in 2011, and after my first commercial photo shoots, I made a point to offer a combination of website plus photo shoots. But not everyone wanted to spend the extra money.
My largest project included designing the websites for two Caritas hospitals as well as doing a number of photo shoots for both hospitals. Another highlight were the shootings for the cultural department in my district: concerts, plays, readings, panels, exhibitions.
I learnt a lot from these contracts. But there was one point I only acknowledge to myself today. While my commercial work was excellent, it was never mainstream, and it was never quite me. No matter what I did, I always searched for the soul of a place or occupation, for the spark in people, for the essence of a task, for the hidden — I was never content with how situations or people were supposed to be portrayed. To ignite my spark, I needed to go beyond that. I needed to be an explorer and even the artist, I didn’t really want to be. After all, I grew up with artists. I knew them too well to want to be one of them.
The double challenge of working for clients and writing the Easy Town books exhausted me, and so, at the end of 2019, I decided to focus on the book series.

Today

Choosing the images for the photo series on the easy town website, reawakened my love for photography, and in 2021 I went on several photo shoots. All strictly me. Most of them on the hunt for new tree bark images. And I rediscovered my love for experimenting with the images in the editing process by changing the exposure, adjusting the tone curves, or any other tweak modern technology allows.

Like with writing, photography always has an element of exploration and discovery for me.

Saying all this, my main focus are the easy town books and the project ideas which are brought up in the book series.